I wanted to post this as one of my last real contributions to daygame.com as I noticed there were a lot of people identifying and attaching themselves to particular methods and techniques which I believe is counter-intuitive to growth and change.

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How do I be myself?

Asking that question will always take you away from the answer.

Letting another person tell you how to be yourself is like following instructions on how to breathe. As long as you let another person do it for you then you will always be a prisoner.

In order to realise how to be yourself you must first understand exactly what you think you are.

The worst thing that a parent can do to their child when they're born is to name them because it instills in them from birth a sense of "I and not I" or "is and is not". Your entire persona is then constructed around the name until, as an adult, you identify with an immensely complex and multi-layered ego.

It is essentially like a house of cards.



The foundations of the pyramid are where your core beliefs reside and on top of it are built more and more layers until you hit the very top where your everyday thoughts sit. If you notice the top of the pyramid is very narrow in relation to the bottom. That is because, as the product of many years of conditioning, we tend to see the world through a very narrow tunnel of reality where there are few options.

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We have become trapped within thought patterns that repeat over and over again until our life becomes a series of habitual routines.

The ego has such a grip over us that we will often blame anyone and everyone outside of us for all the problems in our life. But the thing is if we act a certain way then people will hold preconceptions of who we are and then subsequently repeat them back to us. It essentially creates a feedback loop:

experience --> thought --> experience --> thought --> experience

Your thoughts shape experience which then in turn shape your thoughts.

A girl is not responsible for the fear and anxiety you feel because what you feel is based entirely on how YOU perceive her. Basically you choose to feel afraid. How silly is that?

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The techniques that we learn are just tools that we use to acquire what we want in life. But how can you know what you want if you are always thinking other people's thoughts and speaking other people's words?

To be yourself is to stop thinking and just breathe. It is natural and requires no effort on your part.

You just do it.

Just thought I would expand upon something I posted in the "You are a 10.." thread (I modified it slightly):

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Fantasising about one specific idea of success is like putting blinders on a horse to keep it focused on what is immediately ahead of it. That horse can see the green open field behind the fence but because it is blind to its immediate surroundings it fails to see that it is already free.

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If your mind is set in stone then you are inflexible and will miss out on whatever opportunities come your way.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." - Confucius

In my analogy the horse desperately wants to be free but is too busy fantasising about it to realise that if it turned its attention to the present moment it could immediately turn that dream into reality.

Focus only on what you can do now with the opportunities available to you rather than continue to fantasise about an imaginary future goal.

An applicable quote comes from Bruce Lee:

"Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless — like water. Now you put water in a cup, it becomes the cup; You put water into a bottle it becomes the bottle; You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend." - Bruce Lee

In a situation where you see a hot girl don't focus on what could be instead only concentrate on what is. Fixating on the hypothetical breeds anxiety and fear.