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Author Topic: having trouble getting together after getting a number  (Read 1250 times)

Offline TabascoOcean

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having trouble getting together after getting a number
« on: August 29, 2011, 02:08:16 AM »
yea just cant ever really seem to get anything going after i meet them.

everything seems to usually go well during the 1st interaction but im having trouble figuring out the next part

from the time i meet them, i usually text them alittle later that day, maybe again the day after the next day then maybe another 2 days later tell them im going to go to the driving range or having a cook out and tell them to tag along or stop by for a little bit if they want. but they always say they may but never do




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Offline afro

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Re: having trouble getting together after getting a number
« Reply #1 on: August 29, 2011, 04:57:54 AM »
I've been having that kind of problem. The thing you gotta do is really put yourself out there, go to the point of no return. If you're anything like me, you'll of casually mentioned it, but you gotta ask her  out formally. Unless you've got a plan for the night, and sound like you've got everything covered then she'll not end up coming. Something like "You're coming round mine Thursday night for dinner, which do you prefer, noodles or pizza?" details + not actually asking her but telling her = success. I mean it's not bulletproof, but if I'm right then it'll help! :)

Basic Formula: You're coming to (activity) on (day), do you want (option 1) or (option 2)?

Can't wait to hear how it goes!
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Offline craze6663

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Re: having trouble getting together after getting a number
« Reply #2 on: August 29, 2011, 06:40:27 AM »
Quote from: TabascoOcean on August 29, 2011, 02:08:16 AM
yea just cant ever really seem to get anything going after i meet them.

everything seems to usually go well during the 1st interaction but im having trouble figuring out the next part

from the time i meet them, i usually text them alittle later that day, maybe again the day after the next day then maybe another 2 days later tell them im going to go to the driving range or having a cook out and tell them to tag along or stop by for a little bit if they want. but they always say they may but never do

what I use to do was make the plans before i take the number(I say use to because im changing things up a bit)....of course assuming these are from direct street/cold approaches...also if it was indirect, then it has to be clear by that time, that you are attracted to her and that she likes you back..you have to feel that the connection is there or its a 99% chance of flake

also...no tag alongs (if your intention is to sleep with them/ date them) there has to be some kind of sexual tension there (you dont have to talk about sex, this could be done by being close and keeping eye contact ) bro some girls will give you their phone numbers just to be polite, I've been there... I've been in the very same spot you've been...if she doesnt come out to see you, she doesnt "like" you enough...

http://krauserpua.com/day-game-model/  (I hope I dont get in trouble for posting this)
this is the dude formt he last podcast daygame model, this is a very good example temple of what needs (more or less) for a solid number, or atleast a number with more chances of a date...... notice how he talks about investing..the more she invest the more she's showing she "likes" you
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Offline pfirter

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Re: having trouble getting together after getting a number
« Reply #3 on: August 29, 2011, 11:33:00 AM »
Quote from: TabascoOcean on August 29, 2011, 02:08:16 AM
yea just cant ever really seem to get anything going after i meet them.

everything seems to usually go well during the 1st interaction but im having trouble figuring out the next part

from the time i meet them, i usually text them alittle later that day, maybe again the day after the next day then maybe another 2 days later tell them im going to go to the driving range or having a cook out and tell them to tag along or stop by for a little bit if they want. but they always say they may but never do


i think this comes down to getting better at creating a really good vibe. it could also be just random flaking, girls flake for infinite possibilities having nothing to do with you.

« Last Edit: August 29, 2011, 11:40:29 AM by pfirter »
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Offline TabascoOcean

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Re: having trouble getting together after getting a number
« Reply #4 on: August 31, 2011, 04:53:19 AM »
eeeeyikes, telling a girl "HEY youre coming over friday round 9 for a cookout, you want burgers or brats"
definitely sounds scary. i can totally see her being like "uhhhh no im not" lol in which case id be standing there with my dick in my hand (figuratively lol).

BUT i think you guys are onto something here though, i think it sounds pleasant and playful yet confident. could be gold.

its funny, i always thought, hey! once i can approach a girl and make her laugh once or twice BOOM! im in bed w her. hehe not quite

but what is progress if you just quit at the next damn obstacle??

here we go!

any ideas on how to recover if she does decide to go cold and heartless and get all offended at me telling her shes coming over?
« Last Edit: August 31, 2011, 04:57:53 AM by TabascoOcean »
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Offline pfirter

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Re: having trouble getting together after getting a number
« Reply #5 on: August 31, 2011, 05:27:13 AM »
best way to recover is to tell another girl that you think she's hot and that you had to meet her.. lol
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Offline JollyJamma

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Re: having trouble getting together after getting a number
« Reply #6 on: August 31, 2011, 08:45:23 AM »
I like telling girls that they are 'hot just not my type'.
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Offline craze6663

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Re: having trouble getting together after getting a number
« Reply #7 on: August 31, 2011, 09:18:43 AM »
Quote from: TabascoOcean on August 31, 2011, 04:53:19 AM
eeeeyikes, telling a girl "HEY youre coming over friday round 9 for a cookout, you want burgers or brats"
definitely sounds scary. i can totally see her being like "uhhhh no im not" lol in which case id be standing there with my dick in my hand (figuratively lol).

BUT i think you guys are onto something here though, i think it sounds pleasant and playful yet confident. could be gold.

its funny, i always thought, hey! once i can approach a girl and make her laugh once or twice BOOM! im in bed w her. hehe not quite

but what is progress if you just quit at the next damn obstacle??

here we go!

any ideas on how to recover if she does decide to go cold and heartless and get all offended at me telling her shes coming over?

It sounds to me that you are trying make friends...is that your Intention? Or are you beating around the bush and hesitant to "ask her out" you should describe how was the interaction with the girls ur inviting to these cookouts.......you have to have clear if ur fucking them or making friends with them

So which one is it?
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Offline afro

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Re: having trouble getting together after getting a number
« Reply #8 on: September 01, 2011, 03:17:21 AM »
It's successful if used right. You need to be messaging for a little bit first, set up c&f frame, friendly etc etc. If she knows you're interested then she'll be expecting it already, and hopefully she can't wait to see you! ;) But if she says she's busy then brush it off and carry on the conversation, or you could try something like "you're totally missing out, I normally only cook for the pretty girls;)"

Depends on your style and personality to what will work. You gotta play around a bit untill you find what works best for you! :)
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Offline JollyJamma

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Re: having trouble getting together after getting a number
« Reply #9 on: September 01, 2011, 12:30:56 PM »
The current podcast (38) talks about this so check it out. Quite handy.
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Offline TabascoOcean

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Re: having trouble getting together after getting a number
« Reply #10 on: September 01, 2011, 03:41:39 PM »
craze:
yea I guess I'm just beating around the bush. in the past its been like "hey wanna come over? " "sure" and its on. without ever really officially asking then out. i guess that didn't exactly work w someone totally new lol. in fact I've rarely ever   asked girls out officially.

UPDATE:
 gave it a shot. didn't come out totally right but ill get it.  I started talking to this girl and ager told me she was In fash merch abd I was like "oh really, I need some fashion help, we should go this weekend!" lol she obviously shot me down but I felt better cause I knew what I was trying to do AND I didnt shut down after that, and I tink she started to warm up after she saw it didn't bother me.
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Offline JollyJamma

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Re: having trouble getting together after getting a number
« Reply #11 on: September 02, 2011, 08:35:36 AM »
I think the 'we should get together this weekend' was a mistake.

I like to ask them for their number indirectly as it doesn't put pressure on the situation.
I have noticed that direct pressure on people is bad. They don't like it. Mention a good social happening coming up and show willingness to leave, ask with a lead up.
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Offline craze6663

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Re: having trouble getting together after getting a number
« Reply #12 on: September 02, 2011, 09:46:45 PM »
Quote from: TabascoOcean on September 01, 2011, 03:41:39 PM
craze:
yea I guess I'm just beating around the bush. in the past its been like "hey wanna come over? " "sure" and its on. without ever really officially asking then out. i guess that didn't exactly work w someone totally new lol. in fact I've rarely ever   asked girls out officially.

UPDATE:
 gave it a shot. didn't come out totally right but ill get it.  I started talking to this girl and ager told me she was In fash merch abd I was like "oh really, I need some fashion help, we should go this weekend!" lol she obviously shot me down but I felt better cause I knew what I was trying to do AND I didnt shut down after that, and I tink she started to warm up after she saw it didn't bother me.

the problem is in  the actual first interaction, your not getting enough attraction or comfort/ the in other words she isnt invested enough...cause if she doesnt like you (im not saying physically) you can text her the best text game line in the world, shes not coming thru....
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