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Author Topic: Does an approach a day change your life?  (Read 3007 times)

Offline TheNaturalUnnatural

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Does an approach a day change your life?
« on: May 19, 2011, 10:10:31 PM »
have any of you guys tried the approach a day challenge. im starting it tomoro any tips?


Offline MMH

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Re: Does an approach a day change your life?
« Reply #1 on: May 19, 2011, 11:10:39 PM »
Yeah:

http://www.daygame.com/2011/videos/overcome-approach-anxiety-using-state-shifting/

Watch this and follow his advice. Don't expect to be able to jump in at the deep end at first as well. I am still not amazing but better than I was.

Have fun (also sound advice)

Offline Mero

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Re: Does an approach a day change your life?
« Reply #2 on: May 20, 2011, 06:00:43 AM »
No, it does not.

But it could be a foundation for bigger and better things that will change your life.

I am very persistent. I've been doing five approaches a day for more than a year. Only now I am starting to get good conversations and taking numbers.

So, if you want to get results, do your one approach per day. But also watch all the videos from all the PU schools. Spend all the money you have on boot camps. Find your local community and bribe them to teach you what they can.

Persistence (approaching every day) and flexibility (trying different conversation strategies) will give you small incremental improvements that eventually will change your life.

Cheers,

Mero


Offline Charleston

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Re: Does an approach a day change your life?
« Reply #3 on: May 21, 2011, 07:45:52 PM »
The change comes when it stops being like "I've got to approach 1 hot girl a day" and starts being "oh looks, there's a hot girl, I'll go talk to her".

1 a day isn't really enough to improve your skills at the rate you would perhaps like to see. It's good to start out with, and for someone like me, if I've been having a day couped up inside I'll make myself go out and do a couple approaches so that I don't lose the ability to do a cold approach for when the opportunity arises.

Offline TheNaturalUnnatural

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Re: Does an approach a day change your life?
« Reply #4 on: May 22, 2011, 03:28:41 PM »
i aggree  actually now that i come to think about it. how about approaching like 10 strangers in 15 mins, and once the anxiety is gone doing 3 cold apps. Im also going to lower my standards as its just practise


Offline Charleston

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Re: Does an approach a day change your life?
« Reply #5 on: May 25, 2011, 12:30:51 AM »
I found that rather than seeing "1 cold approach" as the lowest place to start, you start with something even smaller, but more frequent.
I started off in situations where approaching was perhaps not expected but also wasn't seen as something unusual. For example I made sure that if I was at a party I would try and start a conversation with everyone there. Similarly I joined groups (at university, so there were plenty of societies to join) and started trying to talk to everyone.
Things like this improve your general disposition to meeting people, so rather than being "not meeting people all day then talking to a pretty girl so I could get my one approach done" it was more "be a chatty, friendly person". This laid a good groundwork for cold approaches.

Saying that, I probably should have started cold approaches way earlier than I did. So I'm not sayin "don't do one approach a day". I'm suggesting you try a more holistic approach.

Offline Lummers

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Re: Does an approach a day change your life?
« Reply #6 on: May 28, 2011, 01:51:07 AM »
I'm saying do it.
I planned to do it for a month, I kept a diary of all approaches to. It helped.
I unfortunately didn't manage the whole month because of university deadlines. FML.
But I learnt more in that period of time than anything...
Those 2 - 3 weeks powered me up and I look back and think damn, I had more lessons then than all this reading I've now done. I was getting a few number closes in week 3 too.
But how I did it was treating 1 approach a day as the absolute minimum.
If you've got time, do way more.
1 every day atleast. Sometimes you could go for 10...
You'll find some days you'll just feel it, and go, that 1 wasn't enough... I'll do 3 today. And, that's great.
Just remember how it went. What you did. What she did. And analyse it. Try to understand it, then you can work out what you can do better.
But, don't think of analysing it in the situation. Just go for it... Only analyse after the approaches.
Good Luck!

Offline Coldman

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Re: Does an approach a day change your life?
« Reply #7 on: May 31, 2011, 02:22:35 PM »
I've been doing this for the past 3 days... and yes, it does change your life. Because once you've approached that 1st girl, the rest of the day it's SOOOOO much easier to approach more when you see other hot girls. Cause you've just jumped in the deep end and basically instantly state shifted (if you went direct, that is). And you'll stay like that for the rest of the day, until you go to bed.

But it's hard... very hard to not listen to the excuses that come up and just go fucking do it.

"Nah man, I'm not in state yet, fuck that"
"I'm not approaching that 1st girl because I just woke up and need to get some coffee first"
"No dude, fuck that, I'm on the subway, everyone will hear! It's too high pressure... I'll just wait for the next girl that's on the street"
"Noooo, I can't it's 2 girls, the other one will cockblock me..."


Though you have to remember one thing... you do the 1st approach that day, not to get the girl... but for yourself, to be able to feel like a man who goes after what he wants.

Offline Lummers

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Re: Does an approach a day change your life?
« Reply #8 on: May 31, 2011, 10:54:27 PM »
Though you have to remember one thing... you do the 1st approach that day, not to get the girl... but for yourself, to be able to feel like a man who goes after what he wants.

Brilliant. We are men. And, we go and get what we want.

I will now start living my life by this.

Offline Alex love

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Re: Does an approach a day change your life?
« Reply #9 on: June 01, 2011, 10:59:13 AM »
Hey all, nice replies,

My 10 cents is that for me, and a lot of other guys I know, the first three approaches are chalked up to a 'warm up', and is part of the state shifting process as Andy calls it...

So when I was learning I tried to do at least one a day, but preferably three

Hope that helps :)

Karma all round!


Offline mazeman

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Re: Does an approach a day change your life?
« Reply #10 on: June 10, 2011, 01:30:25 PM »
I think 1 approach a day is more than enough. I've approached 25 girls direct on the street over the last 6 months. 4 numbers, 1 lay and not a single bad reaction.

For most somewhat confident men the biggest challenge is to find a girl that they genuinly like, after that the approach is much easier.

My point is not to say that one should approach only 50 girls a year, but 1 a day is more than enough for steady progress.

Offline mazeman

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Re: Does an approach a day change your life?
« Reply #11 on: June 12, 2011, 09:57:58 PM »
Lay was nr 16. My last 10 approaches was much better than the first 10. Did one more on friday, number close. Janka style, think it might be a flake though.

Core confidence is a prerequisite, but I think desire trumps experience. The perfect approach is inperfect anyhow. If I am not really into the girl I think it's more healthy not to approach. It's about what I want, not the stats.

This is not rocket science, you don't need thousand approaches to do this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00Bw9PPJjLk

Offline MMH

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Re: Does an approach a day change your life?
« Reply #12 on: June 13, 2011, 07:26:12 AM »
If I am not really into the girl I think it's more healthy not to approach. It's about what I want, not the stats.

This is more or less how I feel. Also I think an approach a day would likely be very difficult if the weather was anything like yesterday in the UK (namely people would either have to be out of their mind or must really need to do something to be in town on a cold, wet, windy Sunday and unsurprisingly I saw no girls about, I was there to work myself...)

Offline Mark Mowgli

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Re: Does an approach a day change your life?
« Reply #13 on: June 17, 2011, 02:40:54 AM »
The change comes when it stops being like "I've got to approach 1 hot girl a day" and starts being "oh looks, there's a hot girl, I'll go talk to her".

Bingo.

Offline JollyJamma

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Re: Does an approach a day change your life?
« Reply #14 on: June 24, 2011, 01:30:15 PM »
I like the idea of approaching a girl a day and chatting them up.

It's good to meet people let alone girls. You can meet some amazing people in the process and amazing people have amazing friends.

Certainly I am approaching girls as often as possible and make sure I try something new at least once.

Agreed with those excuses-they are there just the same as impossible is there.