Find it hard to open when other people are around :(

[Rob]

Hey guys, I have been daygaming a bit these days and can open pretty successfully- i have done it enough that i see it not as much of a big deal anymore and a lot of the nreves have gone which is great.

The problem is, it find it soooo hard to open a girl on the street when there is so many people around her as i really dont like the idea of all the social pressure and focus being on me.
For example i have just this second come of my lunch break and an absoloutly beutifull girl walked passed- i saw every guy just starring at her when she walked past.
I was soooo close to opening but the streets where so busy people would over hear and know whats going on. I just kept on waiting for the perfect moment when no one was around until she just dissapeared off into the distance

Have any you had this limiting belief, and how did you get over it? I understand people over hearing doesn't matter at all but i still cant bring my self to do it with all the social pressure around.

Thanks it advance.

[Tony]

Do you have the same problem when asking someone for directions? Or when ordering your drink at Starbucks? If so, why do you feel this is different?

[Rob]

Because it is so much more unusual going direct on a random girl on the street. For most passers by it will be the first time they have seen a guy approach a girl in this manner. I just dont like the idea of the social pressure.

This is something i am just going to have to get over really.

[Tony]

Most people won't even notice. They're to caught up in their own troubles and stuff. Most of the few people that do notice, won't care. But hey, why should you care about what a random stranger thinks of you? They might overhear the conversations with your friends too, and if they are even remotely like mine, those can be pretty explicit as well.

But no amount of rationality can solve these issues

[Rumba!]

?You go up to your dream girl! You tell her ?Excuse me, but you looked so cute, I had to come and say Hi!?.
A stranger passing by, over hear?s this and yells ?Hey, everyone, check out the geek who thinks this stunning babe would go out with him!?!! Ha Ha Ha!!!!
Soon a large crowd of strangers gather and begin laughing at you! The girl, angry that a loser like you would even think of talking to her, joins in the mocking.
As you slowly slink away back to your dank cave, the terrible reality hits you; OMG I will be seeing these people every day!!! Better just kill myself and give myself some peace............?
This is what goes through all our heads when we see a beautiful girl in a crowded area. The reality is, however, a lot different. Firstly, as Tony has mentioned, most people (unless you are opening a girl in a packed library) are too busy going about their own business to care. Secondly it?s human nature to think that if one person starts talking to another, then they know each other, so they generally just tune out.
Your target, is probably so surprised that a stranger would compliment her that any social awkwardness would be forgotten, and so she should (hopefully )enjoy being chatted to by you!
Next time you see a girl you like in a busy area, try and immediately put in your mind, all the great things that your interaction with that girl could result in and then GO OPEN HER!!

[Rob]

Yeah thanks for the advise guys, this is just something I have to throw myself into to see for myself that this actually doesnt matter.

Just earlier on today and approached a hired gun who was standing in a shop door way with loads of people walking in and out and told her she looked incredible which she loved. I was completely in the moment that I didnt even notice if anybody else overheard or looked.

Cheers guys.

[Charleston]

Also, even if people do see, they are generally more impressed than anything. There can be a bit of a rush similar to that of performing on stage.
I number closed this girl on a area, right next to a food stall. The people working behind the stall saw everything and when I finished I looked over at them and they had this look on their face like "whoa, thats not something you see every day".
Oh yea, and this food stall was in Camden Market, its pretty difficult to shock someone that works there.

[mister_sri]

Yeah I feel the same. I think everyone does.
What I am doing in order to slowly get over the fear of opening where a lot of people can see you is to take small steps.
Start with making off hand compliments without opening. Make eye contact and smile. =)
When you are comfortable with doing that. You can start opening. It is important that you feel comfortable, otherwise the girl will pick on your anxiety and feel it as well.
Moreover you shouldn't be thinking about what is happening around you.
Let yourself go and focus on her. There is a really nice article by Thiru on Appreciation and Curiousity.
When you have that feeling other things wont even enter your mind.

Be prepared to AMOG!!! I posted a topic about AMOGing I don't have any lines myself.
I think when one opens a hot girl and other people see you and try to interrupt you, it can be frustrating for the girl that when you are out of set a lot of AFCs will start opening her to capitalize on your efforts.

Mister Sri

[Kaizen]

Yeah thanks for the advise guys, this is just something I have to throw myself into to see for myself that this actually doesnt matter.

Just earlier on today and approached a hired gun who was standing in a shop door way with loads of people walking in and out and told her she looked incredible which she loved. I was completely in the moment that I didnt even notice if anybody else overheard or looked.

Cheers guys.

Great job Rob! The last part is great, and also my experience: When you actually do open with a lot of people around (whether walking around you or standing still), time seems to stop and it's only you and the girl...

[Vlad]

The best sets seem to be of the 'Divine Inspiration' type, the ones where you just see her and go... Not the ones where you think about it forever and um & argh about it. They're more genuine and result in a much more congruent behaviour on your part

My good friend Juan says that you must look at all the old men. One day you WILL be like them, old with not long left. If you dont do the things that you want to do, regardless, when you want to do them then you will be always looking at the younger guys, the guys your age now, thinking "I wish I had my time again".

Dont be the old guy wishing for your time again, because it aint gonna come! Be the guy that lives your life...