help...frustration

[craze6663]

I've been doing daygame for a while now, Improved my game and myself.....

anyways I reached my peak around July August  and September..was getting dates consecutively (about 1 every 2 weeks), even if I didnt get them out on a date i would still at least get responses, so i was feeling good (I didnt even have to sarge all day, 1 or 2 sets were more than enough to get a good number),

 but around October, everything went down the drain, I approuched alot more than usually.... i wasnt feeling as good, i actually tried taking a break, and i think it made it worse, i got a job (which pretty much took away my saturdays ), also some snow storms during December and January kinda kept me at home...for about a month now I've been feeling really frustrated, and its really becoming a problem. I look back to my peak and I feel frustrated that I've gotten worse instead of improving. I guess the frustration gives me anxiety while im in set and the girls could feel it too. what can I do? any tips? advice?

[Andy Yosha]

Dude I know exactly how you feel. I felt something similar, although to a lesser degree, when I set up Daygame.com.

I was spending ALL my time infront of my laptop working on the site, and less time out there doing my thing, and I started to notice some approach anxiety creep in when I was out and about. I also noticed that I wasn't as "quick" and "on the ball" in set as I had been before starting the site.... which you can imagine as a Daygame instructor (I was working for PUATraining at the time) is incredibly frustrating.

I spoke to my mate Tom (the guy who taught Adam Lyons - on podcast #6 and #20) and he put my mind at rest. He told me it is impossible to maintain a high level of skill with ANYTHING if you don't keep practicing - but that's ok, and to be expected.

He told me we all have priorities in our lives, and other projects and goals we have to pursue. When i first started Daygame.com I HAD to dedicate all my time to it, otherwise it would never have gotten off the ground. Since then I started going out regularly again and I got my game back to, and better than where it was before.... but I NEEDED to go through that downtime.

It's the same with you mate.

Just don't look at things negatively: Your new job didn't "take away your Saturdays", it GAVE YOU some much needed regular money (which I'm guessing you needed or you wouldn't have taken the job). Just as my dedication to working on daygame.com didn't TAKE AWAY MY ENTIRE LIFE (it felt like it at the time!), but allowed me to create something pretty cool (I think!).

And as for the winter meaning you aren't going out and daygaming as much, I will tell you a philosophy that I live by that is relevant here:

"If there's something you can do about it, then decide what needs to be done and take action. Any time you spend worrying/stressing about something that is outside of your control is completely wasted."

The weather and the seasons falls under this. If you get frustrated whenever it's stormy or cold, then you're in for a rollercoaster ride of emotions my friend, cause it happens every year!

If you're ever feeling frustrated, it's usually caused by "wishing the present to be anything other than what it is right now". The bigger the difference, i.e, the more displeased you are with the present moment, the greater the frustration.

But again, if there's nothing you can do about it - relax. Why feel frustrated over something that you CAN'T change? If there IS something that can be done to move towards a future that is more inline with how you would like the present to be, then decide what needs to be done, and take ACTION to that end. And then relax again. If you know you are moving towards a goal and you have done everything that can be done, then again, things are now outside your control. So grab a beer, and relax. Enjoy the journey.

Hope that helps!

[craze6663]

awesome response andy, appreciate it

Im going to keep this in my head as i head off to do some game today

One question though: what is a good "rule" of the amount of practice

twice a week ,3 times a week?

I do saturdays for about 4 hours, and try to seek in 1 more day for the week. or something I did before was 1 approuch from monday-friday and saturdays i do the usually 4 to 5 hours.

[Phoenix]

winter is definitely no an obstacle for daygame (contrarily)
even when it's cold like -4 ?F outside, I've seen many girls in malls, bookstores , and mostly coffe shops

[Kaizen]

Yes, I agree. Look at the things you CAN do in wintertime. The girls who walk the streets in summer, are the same girls on that same street in wintertime! They might by covered in thick wintercoats, scarfs, but usually their faces are visible - and to me the first thing that I'm attracted to is the girl's face.

I also noticed that girls still dress sexy, even in winter time: Have you seen those high heels and tight jeans?!?

Speaking for myself, I'm actively practicing right now, during the winter period, so my 'skills' are improved in summer! It's kinda like preparing for a sports match! When the first rays of the warm sun are emerging, I wanna be ready for those hotties

And as for your job: a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do! You made the right decision. This leads into the fact that girls are more attracted to men who get their life handled. Do you think a girl would be more or less attracted to you if you didn't take the job and stayed at home?

A metaphor that always gives me inspiration and power is the oxygen mask in an airplane.
In case of an emergency, you always have to put on the mask yourself, before you help others. This is so true!

Again, I think - I know - you'll do fine!