Is it effective to act "a bit shy" when being direct?

[JamesAAAA]

Hi,

I have two questions:

1) When I approach direct, should I do it with overconfidence, very energetic, OR can I act like I've never done this before, like I'm hesitating to find the words and smiling and being slightly shy? (but still maintaining a manly voice)

2) My clothing style is quite fashionable, with flashy colours.. People do notice me on the street with those clothes. Do you think it would be incongruent with a "shy attitude"? Should I wear something slightly more discreet?

Please share your thoughts with me and let me know if you have extensively tried both approach style (overconfident VS shy but manly)

Thanks a lot

James

[Berba11]

I think a little humility can be quite effective.

I've acted more shy than i actually was a few times before with good results. For example, sometimes, in my experience, the girl is a bit 'weirded out' or shocked/taken aback etc... I've found that saying something like, (do the hey/excuse me/very quickly/i know this is random/you look nice/blah blah blah bit first) 'i don't normally do this!' or 'i'm a little embarrassed doing this!' is quite effective as relieving some tension. Do it a little playfully though. Don't act a nervous wreck!

And use it sparingly.

[Rumba!]

It's important to be honest about who you are. So if your outgoing, then be confident but don't be too "hyper" as this is ok in bars and clubs but can be too much during the day. As for your clothes, if you like bold colours, then wear them. I can't remember ever hearing about a girl who rejected a guy because she didn't like his colour combinations!?!.. 

Peace,
Rumba! 

[Pittsy]

What Rumba said.

Look at Sasha vs James Marshall - both completely different styles, both very good at what they do.

The key is congruence with who you really are

[JamesAAAA]

Hi everyone,

Thanks a lot for your suggestions. They have answered my questions.

[Unbreakable NY]

This topic actually just came up for me a few days ago. I was reflecting with one of the girls I daygamed about how we met and she said that even though I was charming and she was attracted to me, she was a bit leery at first because she wasn't sure if she was just another girl I met, or if I was just at the mall to pick girls up. According to her, what really helped me out was acknowledging that this wasn't a "normal" experience for me and that I'd really just been compelled by her beauty to actually drop what I was doing to come talk to her (which I really was!). Girls like to feel like they're unique and special to the guys they're fucking. And since then, I've modified my approach to make it really seem more like this isn't something I do often. I must say, the results (as far as flakes) are paying off positively.

On that note, I wouldn't come across to her as "shy", per se. But I do think that you should make an effort to convince her that you were just caught off guard by how attractive she is and you had to go and talk to her. Come across as social and confident, but avoid looking like you're out with the specific intent to "pick up chicks."

[diverdoug]

acting shy can be very effective -
Sometimes I've been a little nervous on approach, and said to the girl - you know, my minds gone blank, and i can't think of anything to say now...
the girl has then said "well, do you want to take my number?" with a smile..