A little post on empathy...
I was out on Saturday Sarge on... saturday... surprisingly... Anyway, there was a guy in our group who was not up for this stuff and was pretty paralysed by fear. He was getting a lot of advice from people around him which was intellectual and front of brain - arguing his way out of his paralysis. I had two problems here:
1. I know that the reason you get into these states is precisely because you are using the fore brain and analysing too much - the answer cannot lie here
2. Although I knew point one, I didn't know how to move him from the place of fear to the hind brain of creativity and instinctive impulse.
So I took him and tried to talk about giving - in other words finding anyone who was wearing something nice and telling them quickly that you liked it.
I think there is something about terminology here - the words "approach", "set" and "open" have taken on a different meaning to some people, such that they wouldn't mind asking for directions but if it's called "approaching a set" it suddenly becomes something scary because it now has a label that is scary, even though it's the same thing.
So I spotted a girl with crazy army arms and grabbed him and ran with him to push him into the set, but just before he bailed and as she was hot I thought "waste not want not!" so I went in instead and got an instant date
Nothing special, but I maxed up the sexual content once we were date-worthyhttp://soundcloud.com/gaydame/approach-insta-240612
Apart from feeling sorry for the guy (I've been there two) my main frustration is that I couldn't explain what he needs to let go of, because what he needs to let go of is explaining
. You get in a catch-22 situation.
In another post I'll write what has helped me so far, and see what I can come up with...