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Author Topic: I approach. She disappoints.  (Read 805 times)

Offline kaaijer

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I approach. She disappoints.
« on: April 17, 2012, 01:29:35 PM »
Hey guys! Something is starting to bother me lately:

I'm walking around looking for hot women to approach. They look gorgeous when walking towards me. I stop them, open them. They enjoy it. We're having a good chat etc. Sounds good right? Well not quite.

I've noticed that my perception of a woman's outward beauty starts to drop significantly as time goes by. As I said, they look really hot from a distance, pretty nice during my opener and just above average during our chat. It seems like the magic of a woman's hotness wears off pretty fast for me. I don't know whats going on here. Do you guys experience the same or is it some crazy personal issue I'm facing here? I do have some pretty high standards btw.

What do you have to say about this?

EDIT: as a result, I skip the close and eject from set because I don't find the girl interesting enough for a future meeting.
« Last Edit: April 17, 2012, 01:34:41 PM by kaaijer »



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Offline Rumba!

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Re: I approach. She disappoints.
« Reply #1 on: April 17, 2012, 05:49:45 PM »
I don't think a girl can become less attractive physically, if your in a conversation and enjoying yourselves!? I could see how she may become less attractive in your eyes if she had some views or habits that you didn't like i.e. opposite poilitical views or heavy smoker, but the initial spark of seing a girl that makes your heart skip a beat, is what drives us to approach.
You say you have high standards, so perhaps they're preventing you from fully enjoying the interaction with the girl as you feel she has to meet all of your criteria, for you to continue to see her as beautiful.
Another reason, may be that it's a defence against rejection. I've encountered a few guys, whilst I've been doing coaching, who go into sets without any AA, but eject soon after and when I say it seemed to be going well, as the girl was smiling and laughing, they replied that she wasn't "my type".
Guys will sometimes be so happy that they can approach and start a conversation with the girl that subconciously, they'll adopt a "quit while I'm ahead!" mentality, in as such as they don't want to have the negativity of a possible rejection, ruin the interaction when they ask the girl for her number, so they stay chatting and then talk themselves out of asking her for her details and just say that she wasn't worth asking!?!..

Just a thought!?...

Peace,
Rumba!  8)
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Offline kaaijer

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Re: I approach. She disappoints.
« Reply #2 on: April 18, 2012, 10:22:18 AM »
Thanks Rumba.
About the defense against rejection part, that isn't the case here. Before this was happening I always "forced" a number close just to get the experience of closing and the possibility of rejection. And yes, I've had plenty of rejections, haha! But those made me stronger and more experienced.

The problem now is that I want to be more genuine with the girl AND with myself, thus the girl needs to be very attractive in order for me willing to exchange numbers.

Back to my girls becoming less attractive issue: It isn't just happening with daygame but also occurs in other situations. For example when I see a beautiful woman in a movie/series appear for the first time, I'm like, Wooow, who is that girl? After some time, seeing her more often, viewing some pictures about her... it happens again, the "wooow" factor is gone. She isn't ugly, but just, well... nice.
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Offline Honeylover

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Re: I approach. She disappoints.
« Reply #3 on: May 01, 2012, 11:41:45 PM »
You are not alone, I have a vaguely similar problem. 

Firstly, where I live there are virtually no hot women.  So it's very rare that I would see someone that would trigger the 'I should approach' reaction.

However, on a recent trip to Madrid, there were VERY MANY such women and I did actually approach some of them.

Coming back to my small town, I sometimes ask myself "am I weird" as I fancy virtually nobody.  Had I still been oblivious to 'game' I would probably settle for just a 'nice' girl.  But now I know that a hot girl is possible, my standards are so high that I rarely see someone that makes me want to do a street approach.  (yes, the answer is move to a better town, but it's not possible for me at the moment).

Conversely, I might meet a nice girl socially who has such an attractive personality that she becomes desirable.  But I would never have run up to her on the street.

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Offline Lord Vader

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Re: I approach. She disappoints.
« Reply #4 on: May 12, 2012, 07:10:18 AM »
Well OP, it could be what Rumba! said and you're trying to quit while your ahead.

But girls are just people after all. Like biologically, we are supposed to feel that "HOLY SHIT" feeling when we first see her, it's what sends men into sex/pursuit mode. But after that, your brain starts to acknowledge that she's just another ape, like you.

I got no advise, just my thoughts.

Maybe you could try building a deeper connection with some of these girls, perhaps if you connect at a deeper level they'll start to be more attractive again?
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Offline kaaijer

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Re: I approach. She disappoints.
« Reply #5 on: May 13, 2012, 07:27:39 PM »
Yeah I've already accepted the fact that the initial attraction wears off over time. I should focus on getting to know her, let her (hopefuly) great personality earn back my admiration for her.  ;)
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Offline Cloud Chaoszero

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Re: I approach. She disappoints.
« Reply #6 on: May 14, 2012, 06:12:38 AM »
It's just because you were attracted to the ideal person, but once you started the interaction and whatnot, your mind then realizes that she isn't that type of person you thought to be, and thus you think you lost attraction over her.
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