The trouble with "You look really nice"..... Direct?

[CaryGrant]

The line that Yad uses and now Tom and Jon is, "You look really nice." It's great because it freaks out less girls because it can be construed as not necessarily sexual and its low investment and not really putting her on a pedastal. IMO its like going direct but getting an indirect reaction, like just saying 'hello' to a girl in nightgame - she's not sure if you're hitting on her or just being social/friendly.

Is the line direct? I suppose it can be if you said it super-slow with a sexy smirk on your face...but the actual words are not direct. Even the way Yad and everyone else says it isnt direct...however, it can be contrued as direct depending on how you say it and on the girl herself.

In my experience (I've been using it a while now) I find its 50/50 that a girl realises I'm hitting on her. Once I opened a girl and said the line and told her why i think she looked nice but she didnt seem to get it - she just stood there with a neutral expression. Then I added, "you're also cute!" It was at this point she made an excuse to leave and I could tell she was uncomfortable. THAT'S how I know the "you look nice" line is not direct (enough).

One thing about Yad I noticed is that he NEVER introduces himself at the start. He just goes straight into talking about external factors (not the girl or himself), not building rapport at all, just talking fluff that has nothing to do with him nor the girl personally. Nothing sexual. IMO the only times we've seen footage of him direct is in The Summer of Daygame (see link): he stops the girl on the phone in Carnaby St and says,  "I could not let you go (!)" and the Russian girl he stops telling cheekily her, "we're wearing the same colour T-shirt, except I'm a bit lihgter below and I'm gussing you're from a colder country."

6 mins in:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6qH54swiqT8

Basically the problem I'm having is that girls aren't thinking I'm being direct as much as I want them to and I keep having to shoe-horn in, "you're also cute..." so they get the message. Is three anything else I could do rather than verbalise it? Even Jon and Tom's recent vids look more like indirect to me...I'm wondering how the girl realises she IS being chatted up whereas some just don't get it. What's up with that?

I've never had the "I have a BF" when using that "you look really nice" line (at least not till going for the no.) and I'm sure many others are the same. Surly that says something about the line not being direct enough?

[archer1000]

The line that Yad uses and now Tom and Jon is, "You look really nice." It's great because it freaks out less girls because it can be construed as not necessarily sexual and its low investment and not really putting her on a pedastal. IMO its like going direct but getting an indirect reaction, like just saying 'hello' to a girl in nightgame - she's not sure if you're hitting on her or just being social/friendly.

Is the line direct? I suppose it can be if you said it super-slow with a sexy smirk on your face...but the actual words are not direct. Even the way Yad and everyone else says it isnt direct...however, it can be contrued as direct depending on how you say it and on the girl herself.

In my experience (I've been using it a while now) I find its 50/50 that a girl realises I'm hitting on her. Once I opened a girl and said the line and told her why i think she looked nice but she didnt seem to get it - she just stood there with a neutral expression. Then I added, "you're also cute!" It was at this point she made an excuse to leave and I could tell she was uncomfortable. THAT'S how I know the "you look nice" line is not direct (enough).

I disagree Cary. "You look really nice" is a pretty direct thing to say and signals your intent quite clearly. You know it's not direct enough because it didn't make a girl uncomfortable? I'm not sure I follow. It IS direct but there are different degrees of direct. To tell a girl she is absolutely stunning is much more direct but "you look really nice" is still direct. It's a semantic discussion to compare them.

One thing about Yad I noticed is that he NEVER introduces himself at the start. He just goes straight into talking about external factors (not the girl or himself), not building rapport at all, just talking fluff that has nothing to do with him nor the girl personally. Nothing sexual. IMO the only times we've seen footage of him direct is in The Summer of Daygame (see link): he stops the girl on the phone in Carnaby St and says,  "I could not let you go (!)" and the Russian girl he stops telling cheekily her, "we're wearing the same colour T-shirt, except I'm a bit lihgter below and I'm gussing you're from a colder country."

6 mins in:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6qH54swiqT8

Basically the problem I'm having is that girls aren't thinking I'm being direct as much as I want them to and I keep having to shoe-horn in, "you're also cute..." so they get the message. Is three anything else I could do rather than verbalise it? Even Jon and Tom's recent vids look more like indirect to me...I'm wondering how the girl realises she IS being chatted up whereas some just don't get it. What's up with that?

Of course the girl realises she is being chatted up. A man approaches her and tells her she looks really nice. She would have to be an idiot not to think she is being chatted up. Have you trained with any of the daygame.com guys? I noticed you constantly ask loads of questions in literally every post, perhaps you would really gain by doing a bootcamp. Something to consider. Are you based in London?

[zakster]

"You look nice" never really worked for me.

I get a huge bump by using a more outlandish word...like "stunning". I say "you look stunning" 100% of the time.

I do reasonably well(a date every 10 approach). Feel free to list to my approach and give it a shot if you haven't already:

http://yocanyouhearme.tumblr.com/post/19996967879/1-win
http://yocanyouhearme.tumblr.com/post/20052687703/2-fail-cockblocked-by-bus-driver
http://yocanyouhearme.tumblr.com/post/20629387555/3-win

[MMH]

"You look nice" never really worked for me.

I get a huge bump by using a more outlandish word...like "stunning". I say "you look stunning" 100% of the time.

I prefer using that as well. I think the reaction is stronger in a positive way, wheras you like 'nice', mmm, I hate the word nice anyway - its one of those words that's not really saying anything, and I'm not sure its that direct if that's what you're aiming for. "Stunning" however is a word that to me is direct, because when you tell someone they look stunning or amazing, or even beautiful then its fairly obvious in my book what you're after and where you're coming from.

[CaryGrant]

You know it's not direct enough because it didn't make a girl uncomfortable? I'm not sure I follow.

Of course the girl realises she is being chatted up. A man approaches her and tells her she looks really nice. She would have to be an idiot not to think she is being chatted up. Have you trained with any of the daygame.com guys? I noticed you constantly ask loads of questions in literally every post, perhaps you would really gain by doing a bootcamp. Something to consider. Are you based in London?

No, its not that. SOme girls just think you're being "friendly". Even Gambler said girls arent always aware when they're being chatted up - you ever hear a girl say, "Oh he was just being friendly" when you know full well it looked like he was chatting her up? I trained with Andy on a 1-1 a while back but back then he used a totally different (and very direct) style of game. .

[archer1000]

You know it's not direct enough because it didn't make a girl uncomfortable? I'm not sure I follow.

Of course the girl realises she is being chatted up. A man approaches her and tells her she looks really nice. She would have to be an idiot not to think she is being chatted up. Have you trained with any of the daygame.com guys? I noticed you constantly ask loads of questions in literally every post, perhaps you would really gain by doing a bootcamp. Something to consider. Are you based in London?

No, its not that. SOme girls just think you're being "friendly". Even Gambler said girls arent always aware when they're being chatted up - you ever hear a girl say, "Oh he was just being friendly" when you know full well it looked like he was chatting her up? I trained with Andy on a 1-1 a while back before he even started Daygame.com but back then he used a totally different (and very direct) style of game. .

Kill the guru worship. It doesn't matter what Gambler said, what he says isn't gospel truth. She should know that it's a pick up from your non verbal communication imo.

[CaryGrant]

OK put it this way: You would never get "I have a boyfriend" from just saying "you look really nice". Well I at least havent had it sicne i started using it. Not till going for the number anyway.

[Kraven]

Yeah was just going to add it's not all about what you say. I can't remember off the top my head the actual statistic but you often here about how the majority (some people claim 93%!!!) of your communication is non-verbal, and the way you present yourself with tonality, body language etc. is also crucial to the 'vibe' the girl gets from you. If you come across with a strong masculine energy it is far more likely the girl will pick up on what your intentions are.

Make sure you have your physicality covered as well as just the words. Some daygamers will even argue that what you say on the opener is irrelevant and that your 'vibe' is the most important part. Even if she doesn't realise its a pick up from the first sentence you say, I'm sure she will if you continue with a good interaction.

[archer1000]

Yeah was just going to add it's not all about what you say. I can't remember off the top my head the actual statistic but you often here about how the majority (some people claim 93%!!!) of your communication is non-verbal, and the way you present yourself with tonality, body language etc. is also crucial to the 'vibe' the girl gets from you. If you come across with a strong masculine energy it is far more likely the girl will pick up on what your intentions are.

Make sure you have your physicality covered as well as just the words. Some daygamers will even argue that what you say on the opener is irrelevant and that your 'vibe' is the most important part. Even if she doesn't realise its a pick up from the first sentence you say, I'm sure she will if you continue with a good interaction.

Exactly!

The non-verbal communication is the main reason why I lose the sets I lose. The annoying thing is that I know when I'm making the mistake. It's really all about the non verbal game imo. Worrying about what to say is pointless. As long as you are not saying anything genuinely weird, it's OK. Yads strength is that he is so comfortable in the set that he is just talking freely and not even thinking about what he is saying. He is so carefree about it and the girls realise that he is really being real. The non verbal communication is the key in this game. EC, tonality, pauses, facial expression, leading, good posture, dominant attitude etc. The reason a set goes badly is down to a problem in one of those areas, not necessarily something you said.

Cary, I could say to a girl, "hey, how are you" and get a boyfriend objection because I say it in a very sexual way while eye fucking her.

[zakster]

Yeah was just going to add it's not all about what you say. I can't remember off the top my head the actual statistic but you often here about how the majority (some people claim 93%!!!) of your communication is non-verbal, and the way you present yourself with tonality, body language etc. is also crucial to the 'vibe' the girl gets from you. If you come across with a strong masculine energy it is far more likely the girl will pick up on what your intentions are.

Make sure you have your physicality covered as well as just the words. Some daygamers will even argue that what you say on the opener is irrelevant and that your 'vibe' is the most important part. Even if she doesn't realise its a pick up from the first sentence you say, I'm sure she will if you continue with a good interaction.

Exactly!

The non-verbal communication is the main reason why I lose the sets I lose. The annoying thing is that I know when I'm making the mistake. It's really all about the non verbal game imo. Worrying about what to say is pointless. As long as you are not saying anything genuinely weird, it's OK. Yads strength is that he is so comfortable in the set that he is just talking freely and not even thinking about what he is saying. He is so carefree about it and the girls realise that he is really being real. The non verbal communication is the key in this game. EC, tonality, pauses, facial expression, leading, good posture, dominant attitude etc. The reason a set goes badly is down to a problem in one of those areas, not necessarily something you said.

Cary, I could say to a girl, "hey, how are you" and get a boyfriend objection because I say it in a very sexual way while eye fucking her.

Certainly we don't have to go on extremes, do we? You make it seem like you can be mute and communicate with girls. Well, if you can, good for you. But the advice to say whatever with proper body language isn't so helpful for someone who is less of a jedi.

To the OP...I would take every word given by a guru with a huge grain of salt. There are really no rules...just things that work and don't work FOR YOU.

 

[Kraven]

Bottom line is just keep up the approaches

[Kaizen]

Interesting analysis. But how do you know it's the line that causes the result? Maybe it's your body language, your sense of fashion etc....Bottom line is do what works for you! Maybe Yad's - as you call it - indirect "I think you look really nice" works for him, because he has this ton of experience and confidence.

[OG_Kdub]

Basically the problem I'm having is that girls aren't thinking I'm being direct as much as I want them to and I keep having to shoe-horn in, "you're also cute..." so they get the message.
I've never had the "I have a BF" when using that "you look really nice" line (at least not till going for the no.) and I'm sure many others are the same. Surly that says something about the line not being direct enough?

The reason it doesn't  work for you is obvious, you don't know how to non verbal cues.
It's not what you say but how you say it, watch the video again and study the delivery.
Women are good at picking up on vibes we men give off.