Ever since I got involved in the community about 6 months ago I’ve always been looking to interesting and fun things to try to adapt to and use them in conversation.
For some people routines work for others behaving a bit different then themselves (fake it til you make it) works better.
I’ve always been a bit opposed to the idea that you have to start acting completely different person with a sort of alter ego and matching personality.
I personally appreciated being the person I am/was at a certain point in time more than trying to act like something I’m not, and believe me most women pick up on fakers faster than most of us would care to think.
And of course there are certain things that you should try to change or improve of your personality so that you become a better person who is more relaxed and laid back in his day to day life and experiences with people and interactions.
For some this means they need to try and sort their voice tonality so they don’t start stuttering when they talk to (attractive) women or when they feel under pressure, but my point is that this is a thing that will benefit you in every aspect in your life, not just your dating life.
One of the things I tried to remove out of my system in grand total is lying.
I try to be honest when it comes to my friends and loved ones and they seem to like me for the person I am even though I have some flaws as most people.
It just seemed crazy to me that I had to memorize lines and certain sentences to blurt out at specific times in the conversation, just as some people advised me to talk about or not talk about certain topics.
I’m mostly referring to routines and scripted lines. But ‘m just as well referring to the sort of behavior some coaches out there advocate, namely acting as if you did this a million times and know what and how everything is supposed to play out when you actually don’t have a clue about what normally happens when a girl responds well to the fact that she has been approached.
And for these ‘issues’ I asked one of the trainers of a PUA-training bootcamp what I should do about this, and there advice was simple yet very good: BE HONEST!
And let me give you an example of just how magnificent this can work out, I approached a girl for the first time on the bootcamp and I literally had no idea when I should ask her for a number, so I just started talking to her after I opened her and as conversation went along (I never had issues getting comfortable with people mind you), I kind of felt that she wanted to see me again on of the following days.
At this point my mind was literally starting to go into a frenzy and I kept on thinking ‘when should I ask her? Now? Ok, Now? No or should I?’ and it came across to her that there was something that distracted me from talking to her.
So I couldn’t come up with anything better that to say ‘hey you know what, I’m wondering when it would be cool for me to ask for your number because I haven’t done this too much before’ and her response was ‘Well you can take it right now, I’d love to see you again’.
I know not a big deal right? Well it was for me, as I fucked up the next 5 conversations by going for a number too early or just basically talked my brains out and asked for it waaaay too late as the girl started to get bored with me just talking and not taking action.
The thing is that I see most guys who try to act like this slick cool macho type of guy usually come across as being fake and wanting to hide something, it’s not working and most of all why should you be trying to act like someone or something you’re not?
I’m someone whose not interested in a long term relationship at this point and I’m always honest when the topic of boyfriend/girlfriend comes up or when you’re out on a date, I always tell the girl: ‘look I love you , but we can never be a serious couple, I’m not into that’ Sure I’ve lost certain girls by saying this and you know what I feel good about it.
Can you imagine all the drama and heart sore that can come from a situation where 2 people view their relation differently? Or they expect different things?
Yes, you might get an easy lay, but imagine all the bullshit afterwards! She’s definitely going to tell her girlfriends to watch out for this asshole who played her maybe pass them your facebook/phone number, and guess what, the girl and her friends will make sure you won’t get laid with any of their acquaintances.
While on the opposite when I’ve told girls I just wanted to play and fool around and we did our little thing, afterwards some of them even helped me get easy lays, I’m talking about winging for me or introducing me to their friends who share my point of ‘having fun’.
It just benefits both of you if you know what you 2 are about rather than lying to her or not telling her that you actually just want to funk around.
If you compare this to having to deal with all the bullshit and drama for that 1 easy lay I think you’ll see my point.
So please if you’re into mode one than definitely be as honest and true to yourself as you can be.