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Author Topic: Post-Opener Anxiety  (Read 526 times)

Offline Danny Night

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Post-Opener Anxiety
« on: February 16, 2012, 01:17:39 PM »
Hey guys, I noticed that I have a certain sticking point that I really want to get handled ASAP. What happens is that after I do my direct opener and such, for some reason my brain turns into mush! I've read books and watched videos all about conversations with women so the knowledge is all there in my head. But as soon as I'm talking to the girl after the initial 30 seconds or so, all that goes right out the window.

It's really annoying because just yesterday this one hot girl was really into me but my talking skills totally let me down. As soon as the interaction ended and I walked away, I could think of a ton of stuff I could have said to her even now, which annoys me even more! If you need additional information about me and/or the situation, feel free to ask. I'll appreciate any tips/advice you guys have got on this problem.
« Last Edit: February 16, 2012, 01:29:41 PM by Danny Night »



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Offline Rob

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Re: Post-Opener Anxiety
« Reply #1 on: February 16, 2012, 02:23:29 PM »
Hey mate. Im not sure how long you have been doing this for but this happens to all of us when we start out due to our nerves. Why do you think we can all be ourselves and talk freely with our friends? It is because we are 100% comfortable within the situation of being with friends so there are no 'blocks' in our mind. The best way is really to keep on approaching, that way you will desensitize yourself to stopping strangers in the middle of the daytime and as it becomes increasingly normal you will find your mind start freeing up as your nerves will slowly start disappearing.

Another good idea is to have some transitions in mind that you can use after you have given the compliment. You can start off by just asking what she is up to today and carry the conversation on from there. When you feel comfortable with that you can start making statements/assumptions about her e.g. by looking at her try and guess what she does for a living. Or simply comment on something she is wearing.

Hope this helps :)

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Offline Kyros

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Re: Post-Opener Anxiety
« Reply #2 on: February 22, 2012, 08:45:06 AM »
Hey Man,

After you deliver the Pre-frame/ opener/compliment follow that straight away with the assumption and then give the reason why you think it...

Example: Hi, sorry, can i just tell you something really quickly, i just noticed you walking and i think you look really nice and i wanted to come and say 'Hi'....AND i also like the colour of your hair/how tall you are/happy you look etc....i think its really nice....(if at this point the set has not hooked then make another assumption) im guessing....that....your....from....Latin America...?

You should now have her talking which should take the Anxiety/pressure/nerves off you and you should feel more relaxed in set which should allow you to speak while being in the present moment which is essential in daygaming......
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Offline John Matrix

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Re: Post-Opener Anxiety
« Reply #3 on: March 10, 2012, 12:32:47 AM »
This is bang on -

"Why do you think we can all be ourselves and talk freely with our friends? It is because we are 100% comfortable within the situation of being with friends so there are no 'blocks' in our mind. The best way is really to keep on approaching, that way you will desensitize yourself to stopping strangers in the middle of the daytime and as it becomes increasingly normal you will find your mind start freeing up as your nerves will slowly start disappearing. "

It's all about not caring about the outcome. Keep approaching more and more and eventually you really won't care anymore and your spontaneity and natural wittiness will come through.
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