Have any of you ever gone through a phase with all of this when you feel as though you have lost all motivation and inspiration to approach? This happened to me a month or two ago after I was approaching pretty much every day for a number of months and it made me quite worried as though after all this hard work I just can't be bothered with it any more. What actually happened is that I had simply burnt myself out as I was approaching so much it turned it into a bit of a chore - it turned into such a 'run of the mill' thing that I felt as though I wasn't enjoying it anymore. This started affecting my approaches as when I did approach I felt almost 'empty', there was so passion or spark and the girl could feel it.
It is the same reason why people sign up to places like a gym all motivated and dedicated to get in shape that they hit it pretty hard for a while, burn themselves out and then are not interested in returning for a very long time. I'm predicting that it is exactly this sort of reason why there are so many inactive accounts on this forum and why you will see new guys appearing in the forum all excited to get going, giving evidence of them approaching a lot with Field reports etc then after a month or two they never return.
I play the drums and it is something I am incredibly passionate about. For the first couple of years I started I would play a couple of hours a day as I was dedicated to get good but I would find after a while it didn't seem as fun as when I first started; it turned into a chore as I was practicing to try and get good rather than enjoying it. But when I would take a couple of days off then return to the kit I could approach the instrument with a completely brand new refreshed mind set, I would then play with much more emotion and feeling. Not only was I then enjoying it more but I honestly felt as though I would play better.
There was a section on the Daygame blueprint where Yad actually says he will not do any more than 5 approaches a day as he wants to keep it fresh- keep that excitement there. I personally find that my first set of the day comes across a lot more authentic as opposed to the 5th of the day as I still have all the excitement/nervous energy there (being my first set), which is a healthy thing.
What I am trying to get at is that if you have lost some of your motivation/inspiration then there is nothing wrong with taking a day or two off from this and get on with other things in your life(especially if you are doing this every day). When you come back to it you will feel a lot more refreshed and excited. Don't worry about if your AA might come back as having the added adrenaline in your approach is a good thing.
On the Daygame blueprint there is a section titled- 'Self-esteem Supercharger' where the speaker Tom Westenholz makes a great analogy along the lines of:
"Facing your fears is like driving a car, where the petrol in the car is your inspiration. When you go out in your car to confront your fears the petrol goes down and you feel drained. You need time to go out and get more petrol i.e. inspiration as if it runs out you are stuck in the road going nowhere. Watch inspirational videos and biographies, talk to people, read, do things you enjoy so you can be inspired and put fuel back into your car or you will give up."I was reading Krauser pua blog the other day and it sounds as though he has gone through the same sort of thing as he said:
"If you can't say 'no' to Daygame and sex then you are slave to it. I haven't felt like putting in Daygame sessions lately. My subconscious was telling me something so I listened. It wanted me to ease off, relax, recharge and expend my energy in other areas like reading books, playing video games, and hanging out with my friends. So I did."So if any of you guys who have been doing this a while feel drained or have lost some motivation, don't be too hard on yourself as we are all human. Take a step back and do other things then come back to this feeling refreshed and inspired. This isn't an excuse though for the new guys not to approach, you have to put your time in in the beginning. I would say once guys have hit the 100/200 approach mark and are feeling as though it is a bit 'run of the mill' now to chill out and remember this is all supposed to be fun. Your approaches will also come across a lot more authentic and passionate. As I approach direct the authenticity and passion is SO important as it comes from the place that you were just walking down the street minding your own business when you just saw her and HAD to run back and meet her. Each approach should have that amount passion and emotion to it(as though it is your first ever one) to really make it effective so just doing approach after approach being on autopilot like some sort of robot takes away the most important factors.
I hope this may help some of you who may find it to be a bit of a chore sometimes.
- The Daygame Cafe Management
