If you haven't read this thread by Lux Lisbon, you should.
Do it now, before you read my post.
Ok. You're back in the room.
Lux, if you're reading this I have to say that was a brilliant post and I say that because I am in this stage at the moment. I'm reading tonnes and tonnes of information about Game all the time and it never ends.
This is the curse.
The gift of game, is that you come to realise you can learn to attract women! Great! You have wanted to do this shit since the day your high school crush went off with that dickhead you never liked. Now you can get girls instead of losing them. Whoop, you are full of joy.
The curse of the game is that you find you are reading so much materia
l, all that seems to contradict each other
, you are analysing every social situation
and you are becoming more pessimistic
about your 'skills' with women because you realise there are so many things you don't know.
Everything becomes a play to you.
Recently I have been thinking to myself. How do I deal with banter from my friends?
I looked up advice on the internet and I got many different responses...
'You're a dick, you dick.'
a) 'Yeah, and you're mums a whore.'
b) 'Yeah, I am a dick.'
c) 'Ha, You're a twat.'
e) 'Go fuck yourself.'
f) *Smile and turn away.
There are so many options, you just end up confused.
And this relates to everything:
There are so many books and advice about picking up women you could be reading FOREVER.
The more you read, the worse you get.
Step one: Begins with confusion.
Step Two: I need to read more.
Step Three: More knowledge leads to more contradiction.
Step Four: You are still confused.
Step Five: You enter a downward spiral.
Step Six: You hit anger and ask yourself 'Why can't I just figure this out. How do I do it!?'
Lux says this:
My advice to you would be to just keep experimenting while being authentic and true to your own personality
And that seems to be the best advice anyone can give.
Be True with yourself.
There's a brilliant concept in CBT which is behavioural experiments.
You figure out what you want and then you act in a way that you think would get that result.
If it doesn't work, you change what you did and then you try again.
Eventually through persistance with experimenting you will fall on something that works.
The problem with this is that you will have MANY
The beauty is that you figure out what works for you.
You are not weighted down by reading and contradictions.
You are FIELD TESTING you're own methods, actually USING them.
You are creating yourself, and getting congruent results to who YOU are
. Not a guru.
The point Lux makes about pick-up being utter madness is very true.
All these little manipulative tricks, games and power plays - It's mentally exhausting.
You go into a conversation thinking WAY too much, and as such you just end up tiring yourself out.
A conversation should be a completely natural and fun thing to do. It is a source of leisure.
How can we make that so when we are inside our own heads trying to analyse everything people do.
PEOPLE ARE COMPLETELY RANDOM CREATURES AND IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO PIN THEM DOWN.
Game is a viscious circle...
I've been reading book after book, and as Lux said always running after the next magic bullet.
An advertisement. 'How to give girls the best sex they ever had.'
I opened it up and started listening...
'You'll learn how to give girls ROLLING orgasms....That's multiple, multiple orgasms given BACK to BACK.'
Great! Where do I enter my bank details!?
Seriously! What bullshit, this is just praying on naive, insecure men who think they don't know how to give a woman an orgasm. What goes through their minds is this:
'Ahh shit, a rolling orgasm... I don't know what that is. I must be shit in bed. I need to find out what it is.'
But in reality. It doesn't exist! It's a ploy. It's designed to make you hand over your money.
All that you need to give a girl a great orgasm is to feel completely comfortable having sex with her, be in the moment, relax and enjoy the sex. - Not be up inside you're own head about what you are doing!
My opinion on all of game is very warped at the moment.
There is so much advice out there you will end up eating your brain out in the wake of several 'gurus'.
STOP FUCKING YOUR MIND.
Being social is a beautiful natural thing..
Why must we be so contrived?
Why must we insert formulas speech patterns?
My only advice is this:
Stop reading game.
Go out and learn for yourself - Through hard persistance and many rejections you will acheive.
And the best part is... you will be congruent with yourself. You're method will be your own and you will be happier.
Oh and one last thing...
'What did you do last night?'
'I stayed up late and read books about what to say to girls.'
You think that's attractive?