Greetings my fellow daygamers! Shepherd here.
This topic is all about how to cure neediness from your system. Attracting a girl when you have these insecurities is like trying to break through a concrete wall with your head. Unless of course, you are the Juggernaut, and then it might work in your favor.
One of the most common remedies you hear in the pickup community on how to eliminate neediness is to date a lot more women. This is absolutely true. With an abundance of women in your life you will realize that there are many girls out there that you can have an inferno level of chemistry with. However, there are other things you can do to help eliminate neediness and I am going to name my top three.
The 3 keys to flush neediness out of your system:
1. Don't care if sex happens or not. When you escalate, it is coming more from the frame of "let's see how comfortable she is with me touching her here, how about here, etc." If she isn't ready for it, internally (or externally) you just shrug your shoulders and try again later. Touch should be used as an expression of what you are feeling at the time. Don't be pushy, be persistent.
2. Love everyone. Learn to love people. Leave all judgments/labels/criticisms behind. Don't have the mindset that you only associate yourself with people that meet your "standards". Everyone is your friend. One of the best ways I have found to adopt this mindset is to have a genuine curiosity for people. Everyone has a story.
3. Realize that when the feelings of neediness arise, it's your emotions telling you that you are not 100 percent self-fulfilled. By doing so you are becoming more of a value taker and less of a value giver. Because unconsciously or consciously, you are seeking them to "fill up" your self-worth up in some way. By allowing it to continue, you are slowing/stopping the flow for a beautiful connection to blossom to its potential.
When you begin to feel those neediness feelings, try to identify the source and take action to change it. Ask yourself, "What is it that is making me feel this way?" By doing so you will be coming into your potential, and people will seek to be in your presence because you are completely secure in yourself.
By adopting these ideas, you will find that you are more concerned about finding a girl that isn't needy for you than the other way around.