Opening in a less direct way is better?

[Amazin]

Saw this thread from the LSS:

http://www.thelss.com/forum/index.php?topic=28932.0

I agree with points such as:

"Direct Game" in the Alan Currie style* Leaves you and the girl very little room to maneuver. You are asking her to commit far too much in a very, very short amount of time. It may work 20% of the time and if you're happy with that carry on. But you'll get the other 80% feeling awkward and feeding you a line to get rid of you.

To give a simplified example. Think of it in traffic light terms. You run that same "oh, I had to tell you you're sexy as hell" line. 20% will give you a green light. The other 80% will be either Red. If you'd run a less pressurised line. You could have converted some of those Red to Ambers and MAYBE with a little time/exposure to Greens.

If you approach "very attractive english women" during the day time. A few reasons:

- she is very attractive so not a surprise that she already has a boyfriend
- she is english so already have 10 guys in her social circle who want to be the next boyfriend
- she is out of your ligue (like you are a 5 & she is a 9)
- a problem with your approach
- she is not in the mood so "i have a boyfriend" is the main answer to get rid of guys

Too many girls just use "I have a boyfriend" response to get rid of strangers and many hot girls WILL have boyfriends. However, the definition of "boyfriend" is very vague and can mean many different things such as:

- Fiance
- Live-in partner
- Regular long-term romantic relationship
- Recent acquisition she's besotted with
- A guy she sees once every week or two for socialising & sex
- A dude she's dated a few times & slept with once or twice
- A fuckbuddy
- This guy she meets up with occasionally when she's horny
- Some boring orbiter who takes her out to dinner but doesn't escalate
- The guy she's hoping will ask her out
- A complete lie

I think Yad often goes in with a compliement or something observant but without going too direct. He's got great skills so I think unless the girl is in a serious relationship, there's a ood chance that Yad will end up sleeping with her.

Open less direct also give you a chance to talk to her bit more.

what do you guys think?

[TantraMagnet]

I tend to agree that the Mode One approach asks her to commit too quickly which can lead to a quck blow off with the I have a boyfriend response.

Developing attraction is a more solid way to go.

For a minimalist direct approach, I think The 60 Method is something worth incorporating.

Are you familiar with The 60 Method?

[Amazin]

I haven't got a clue what that is. Its not the 60 years of challenge is it?

[TantraMagnet]

I haven't got a clue what that is. Its not the 60 years of challenge is it?

Yes, Chris Andersen aka 60 Years of Challenge

[MMH]

Odd. I find I get a better response from being more direct.

[CaryGrant]

Opening in a less direct way is better?

IMO, yes.

Standard direct as in "you are absolutely gorgeous" can freak some girls out and is too high pressure for them and you are investing too much. But it gets the job done in displying sexual intent and you're there to NOT just give a compliment.

Low pressure direct such as "You look really nice" is much more ambiguous though and you can easily fail to make the girl understand that you have sexual intent - they might walk away thinking you just wanted to simply compliment them, not chat them up. You're not investing as much too. The up-side is that its low pressure so she will less likely freak out and run for the hills. But another down-side is that the girl might not think you are passionate enough about really meeting her, you're compliment was kinda half-assed.

I'm trying to come up with a compliment that is low pressure but still clearly hows intent. Its hard to come up with one. Perhaps, "You look.......really........nice (cheeky smile)" I think indirect-direct is good for this.

[MMH]

At the end of the day, my opinion is you do whatever you feel most comfortable doing, and if it works for you then more power to you.

[Lummers]

What is true to me right now. At this moment. Is that you should open how you want to open.
If you want to tell her she is fucking beautiful. Do it.

If you want to tell her that you came over because she was wearing a red cardigan and you loved the colour red. Then do it.

Doesn't matter how you are opening, as long as you are opening.

(There are SO many openers out there that work, it proves that no one thing works.)

These guys who came up with the openers did so because it worked for them and it was congruent to their personality.

Think to yourself. 'How would I like to open a girl if she wouldn't reject me?'
When you have your answer. Field test it. And make it work somehow. Don't follow someone elses heart. Follow your own.

Personally I would love to say this:

I'm going to make something up now. Begin waffle (which is what you should do in set.)

Hi... I'm coming over to meet you. Because you caught my eye. And I want to find out who you are. I mean, you could be some devil woman who is a complete bitch... but I hope you're not. Are you?'

Looking at it... that is actually an amazing opener. I shall try it! Haha.

[Lux Lisbon]

An opener is exactly the same thing as an opening move in chess.

You can move any one of your pawns down the board, you can bring your knight in to play but, sure as eggs are eggs, NEITHER opening move is guaranteed to win you the game - it's what you do after, and the mindset you bring to the game, that is the key.

Lets look at your options:

1) You can open indirect ("Where's the nearest Starbucks?"), and talk in a mealy-mouthed, beat around the bush type of way, just hoping she is going to show enough interest in you that you will eventually be able to pluck up enough courage to articulate your intentions towards her.

- WEAK SAUCE -

2) You can open indirect (as above), but laser-eye-fuck the living daylights out of her as you talk about your love for peppermint hot chocolate, thus pumping her buying temperature. and leaving her in no doubt that you want to fingerblast her behind a dumpster. I am now in such a place in my head that I believe, when I laser-eye-fuck a girl, her pussy starts to tingle and get wet; it's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

- THIS IS GOOD, ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE HITTING ON GIRLS VERBALLY WITHIN EARSHOT OF OTHERS. AND WHAT DO THEY SAY? 97% OF COMMUNICATION IS SUBCOMMUNICATED, ANYWAY.

3) You can open indirect, then in the very next sentence admit why you're talking to her.

"Hey, where did you get that hat from? My niece would love one like that for her birthday."

"Blah-blah-bloody-blah."

"Actually, I haven't even got a niece. I just had to talk to you because I saw you and thought you were striking"

(Just a note: I'd never use the word: 'cute' - teddy bears and babies are cute. 'Nice' to me, is too wishy-washy, as well. If somebody described ME as 'nice', I'd take it as an insult)

- ON ANOTHER FORUM THIS TYPE OF APPROACH IS KNOWN AS: DDA (DELAYED DIRECT APPROACH), AND PEOPLE HAVE HAD SUCCESS WITH IT.

Or,

4) A balls-out, no nonsense super-direct approach - both verbalizing and subcommunicating your desire for sex with this girl.

- THIS IS VERY POLARIZING AND NOT VERY BEAUTIFUL OR SUBTLE. *HOWEVER*, IT SAVES YOU A LOT OF TIME AS YOU FIND OUT ALMOST IMMEDIATELY WHICH GIRLS ARE DTF.

However, as I said, it is not the the opener that gets you laid, it's what you bring with it to the interaction: the energy, the fun, the sexual tension, the romance, the honesty etc.

Remember, an opener is just that: The opening sentence to a conversation - nothing more, nothing less. You can use the most laser-intense, super-direct opener ever known to man but, if in the following conversation, the girl picks up you're a needy, whiny, value-taking, little bitch, your opener will count for nothing.

I'm all about honesty, being a man, and being unapologetic that I have a dick and I want to use it on her. I've no time for manipulation, button-pushing, or micro-managing my behaviour as to what I think the girl would like to hear.

So, choose your weapon. What's your poison?

[Charleston]

The opener is a small part of the process and doesn't matter so much in the long term. You can have a very direct philosophy and use an indirect opener, because the important part of the process is mainly in how you continue with the interaction. As long as you don't get bogged down in talking about some made up story and never transition onto something better. When I can use an indirect opener, I will, because I think that its a more natural way to start a conversation. Adam Lyons and David Wygant are massive proponents of the situational opener.... and its worked pretty well for them.

The problem is that if a girl is just walking down the street, it can be pretty difficult to come up with something indirect that would make sense to say. There's hundreds of people on this street, why did you need to stop her and ask her about buying my mum a birthday present? Also, it sets the frame badly, you aren't some guy that's seducing her or even some guy that's having a cool conversation with her. Instead, you are some guy that needs to get some question answered or some task completed and once you are done with that, the frame dictates that the interaction should end. You now know where Starbucks is or what to get your mum for Christmas, why are you still talking?

Basically, situational is best if the situation allows it, direct is good and can be done anytime, anywhere, but the classic canned indirect opener is bad because its too easy to get trapped by the opener.